Relationship Mastery, Influence and Control

One of the few things everyone I know has in common is that we all want to improve some or all of our relationships. Whether those relationships are with family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, a desirable partner, there is at least one person in this world that we want a better relationship with. One of the best ways to improve a relationship is to understand the difference between influence and control. Many people don't distinguish between the two, which can lead to all sorts of problems in their relationships. Please let me tell you why.
Every time two people interact, they influence each other to some extent. If you think about this for a moment you'll realize it is true. Anything you do or say with or to another person influences them. It may make them happy, or sad, or confused, or angry, but every time with interact with anyone, both of us are affected in some way. Even if (particularly if) you ignore someone completely, that response affects the way the other person things and feels. If you're going to master the fine art of having great relationships, you need to get it firmly embedded in your head that every single interaction you have with a person affects them in some way, and affects you too.
The other term we want to discuss is control. Ponder this one for a bit and you'll realize that you can't really control anyone else. You may be able to pressure someone into doing what you want (to influence their behavior), but you can't control them. No one can really force someone to do something if they are really determined not to do it. So you influence someone whenever you interact with them, but you can never force them to do anything.
So many people get this wrong. They try to control relationships and force others to do what they want, whether the other party wants to or not. Things would work much better, and be much more pleasant for everyone involved, if people used their influence to get results instead of trying to control others. Can you really force someone to like you or be your friend? You can't do it, and even trying to do it will likely have a huge negative influence on your relationship.
But at the same time, you can use your interactions with others to try and influence them to see things your way, and perhaps come to some mutually agreeable result. If we learn to influence people rather than trying to control them, our relationships will surely be better and we're more likely to get the results we want. Most people never seem to learn the difference between influence and control, but if you do, you will be well on your way to relationship mastery.