How to Move Forward After a Divorce

I spent a lot of time thinking about the phantom of the divorce. First, I am a divorcee myself, second the divorce got to be viewed as a routine these days. The reasons could be speed of living, could be all the information we have and don't always know what to do with it, could be the fact that we are totally lost, don't know our selves, so it is hard to know anything else. It is true, that no matter how you look at a divorce it is a very painful experience. Even for those who want out of the marriage. It is difficult to accept one's failure.

It is a failure. And, quite often, the failure is not that of a marriage, it is deeper than that. As I evaluate my marriage now, I must admit, I was a contributor to the disaster, but I never thought the contribution was compounding. How silly. I thought, life was like a movie, once the movie is over, life kicks in again on the neutral ground. Well, it is not so and I've learned that as an observer, not as a participant of my own life. So what was wrong? First of all, I forgot to grow up as I was growing up. When things were not so hunky dory and I had a lot of questions, my own answers were those of a ten years old. I was growing older, but I was not growing smarter. That is why I did not see the little mistakes along my life path, as I see it now.

I know that the feeling of grief over the loss of a marriage is part of the whole experience. My question though is: are we grieving about the actual losses, or the realisation of our own life illiteracy or? Unfortunately, my conclusion is a loss of our comfort zone. For good or bad, everyone gets used to the routine, to the structures, situations, to their lives. And even though, down deep inside the intuition may be telling us to get up and go, leave the poisoned comfort of days, we hold on to the known. That is why so many have a hard time adjusting to the overwhelming feelings when going through the divorce. Don't go through it alone. Support system is a must. No matter what the circumstance, change is a change and it requires adjustments and understanding. We came to this world to live a life full of passion and purpose. Every day is a beginning of a new life, be grateful to be YOU. You go through life collecting data to live your purpose, so do just that. Collect your experience and go on.