Overcome the Effects of Domestic Violence From Your Childhood

Those who grew up within an environment filled with domestic violence could have scars that run deep. The emotional, mental, and physical trauma of childhood that was filled with abuse will wreak havoc on your life if you don't process what happened to you. You'll self-sabotage yourself in many ways from becoming a 'people pleaser' to becoming co-dependent. You'll stay in a vicious cycle until you decide to break it. Have the courage to face your inner demons and free yourself from the bondage of domestic violence. Don't you owe it to yourself?

Overcome the Effects of Domestic Violence from Your Childhood

Stop being a people pleaser. Children who grew up within domestic violence often become people pleasers. They want to make sure everyone likes them and don't enjoy confrontation. This isn't worth it. If someone doesn't like you, so be it. Stop overextending yourself because you believe you can't say "No" when someone needs your help. Politely say "No, I can't help you at this time. Thank you for understanding." Practice saying "No" and before you know it, you'll be a pro at it.

Stop belittling yourself. Growing up within domestic violence probably robbed your self-confidence and self-esteem. To strengthen your self-esteem, say affirmations. Every day you could say, "Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better or I love and approve myself or I love and accept myself." Say affirmations out loud or too yourself. Look in the mirror when you say them and really 'feel' what you're saying.

Take your power back! Stand up for yourself. Don't let others walk all over you. If you have an opinion, voice it. Don't hold back because you feel you may hurt someone's feelings. Say what you feel in a calm and rational manner. Don't speak out of anger -- speak your truth.

Get help from a counselor. If you never had therapy, you may want to consider it. When you speak with a counselor, you'll 'purge' yourself of your emotions of the past. Make sure you don't 'wallow' in the past. Find a counselor that will move your forward in your life rather than keep you stuck.

Release the shame of domestic violence. Children don't raise themselves -- parents do. It wasn't your fault that you grew up in a chaotic environment. A two-year-old can't stand up for herself. She can't stand up and say, "Excuse me, mom and dad, do think beating each other up is a good idea? Do you know what that can do to me emotionally, mentally, and psychologically? You may want to get yourself some help because this isn't a healthy environment." It's not your fault. Learn from it and let it go. Move forward with your life.

Forgive yourself and your abuser(s). Forgiveness is more for you and not your abuser(s). It doesn't say, "What you did to me was all right." Forgiveness releases you from the person and the situation. Remember that your parents were once children. It's almost guaranteed they grew up within domestic violence which is what they knew. If no one taught them anything different, how could they raise you in stable environment? If they didn't question the way they were raised and didn't do the 'inner' work, how could they raise you in a healthy environment?

If you grew up with domestic violence, let it go. Bless the experience (may not be easy for some to do) and take the gifts from it. Perhaps your childhood made you a stronger person. Perhaps you're able to know what you want instead of not knowing what you want. Maybe you're working with children who suffer from abuse and neglect. Take the lessons from your childhood and move forward with your life. Staying in the past isn't healthy for you. Learn all you can from your experience and release it for good.

DEORConsulting is a life coaching, consulting, and education company for teens, parents, guardians, and professionals who work with teens. DEOR stands for Design.Own.Empower.Resolve.

Teens often struggle with the teenage years. With Rebecca as their life coach and consultant, teens can learn the secret to transforming their life for the better. Being a teen today is not like it was back in the day! Teens need extra support to guide them through these years. Rebecca helps teenagers grow in mind, body, spirit and other areas. She provides them with the essential life skills and tools they can use for success.